Reflective journal

New Women’s Dorms

American University of Beirut

Beirut, Lebanon    

December 4, 2017

Dr. Zane Sinno

Department of English

American University of Beirut

Beirut, Lebanon

Dear Dr. Sinno,

                                                                  I cannot deny that I registered for English 203 in the beginning of the semester expecting it to be a redundant English course typical of the ones given in schools. As the semester progressed, however, I was genuinely surprised by the content of the course and the way it was offered. The course is not limited to writing and submitting essays, and I can positively say that I thoroughly enjoyed this course and I regret coupling it with the other stressful courses that I chose for the fall semester.

          This is my first year in AUB and the country. I lived abroad for the majority of my life in a country where the discussion of certain matters such as politics and the rights of minorities was a taboo. Politics has interested me throughout my life and I could not freely express my views on the subject at school due to the regulations on avoiding all delicate matters. I was pleasantly surprised when our first work in 203 involved clientelism in Lebanon. The matter was acknowledged and freely discussed in class and I enjoyed the freedom of speech given to us on this topic. There were no restrictions to conform with a certain political party or deny the presence of the corruption in Lebanon. I could say liberty offered with this work made it one of my favourites.

The fact that our essays and works throughout the semester focused on Lebanon allowed me to discover the country I had to now reside in. My knowledge about Lebanon before I came here was limited to what i saw on the news and what I heard from my parents. My visits to the country before permanently moving here were also limited. I loved how we acknowledged the positive and negative aspects of Lebanon in class, that it wasn’t a series of patriotic works that sugar coated the flaws of the country. This greatly contrasted with the works of my school where we were expected to “maintain a positive attitude” . My critical analyses and critique skills were greatly augmented as a result of this course.

My favourite aspect of this course is the fact that were was no fear of discussing the delicate matters that plague our Arab world. The wars in Yemen are acknowledged. The discrimination against the LGBT community is acknowledged. The tension between various religious groups is acknowledged. The stigmatisation of drug addicts is acknowledged. I cannot help but think that this course somehow aided the change of this conservative mentality among the students registered in the course. Exposure to opinions that differ from your own opens up your mind and allows you to acknowledge your personal biases. Change on an individual level is preliminary to change on a societal level, and I have a reason to believe that the course achieves just that. I personally saw beyond the number of pages we had to write for each essay and the font we should use. You assessed our academic writing while we assessed our own values, stereotypes, and biases.

I appreciated how you encouraged the diversity presented by different students. You never once restricted our style of writing beyond formal or informal. You embraced the individualism presented by different students from different backgrounds. This again boils down to the lack of restrictions the was offered with the course. I still remember how you reminded us the we should embrace our accents and not conform it to the typical perfect American accent when we were giving out our presentations. This allowed me to retain my Arabic identity while still criticise the shortcomings of the Arab world. I wasn’t a mere observer writing about the flaws of my country and trying to conform to the Western world in the process. I was experiencing them and speaking out about them. Our discussion of the disappearance of the Arabic language in and English class was surprising to me at first, but connecting these different events allowed me to see a prime motivator of yours while giving this course: holding on to our identity. This course was neither a denial of the failures of the Arab world nor a desire to dissociate from it. Our works reflected the middle of the spectrum.

I loved how I could incorporate what I chose as a career in this course. I originally came to AUB not knowing what I wanted to do as a major. I registered as a medical laboratory student because I liked chemistry in school. I am currently transferring to psychology and I dare to say that my work on the problem solution report influenced this decision. I wrote about The Stigmatisation That Drug Addiction is a Choice. I chose this topic because I had a firsthand experience of watching my best friend struggle with overcoming it while everyone else in his life blamed him for it. I experienced most of the evidence that I incorporated in the problem section of the report and my motivation to find a solution to the problem was more personal than anything. Writing this report took a different turn, however, when I started attending rehabilitation and awareness presentations offered by AUBMC. It ignited a passion in me that I didn’t know I already possessed. I realised that this is simply what I want to do as a career. The need to write this report became a must to write it. I want to be the element of change of the sickening mentality of the Arab world. I want to be the reason my best friend and other victims could lead a validated life like any other sufferer of a mental illness. 

Thank you, for I could see beyond your deadlines.

Sincerely yours,

Rita Nizar Al Kady